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Monday 26 September 2016

September

September

September is perhaps the cruelest month; it marks not only the end of summer but the beginning of the school year. While many students look forward to their new schedules, fall often brings increased anxiety, especially for high school students.

 It’s been fifty years since I started high school. I was reminded of that this summer when I attended a Monkees concert at Ottawa’s Bluesfest. Two of the remaining group members (heartthrob Davy Jones died in 2012) are in the midst of their fiftieth anniversary tour.

I was a Monkees fan. In 1966, my Grade 9 year, The Monkees were a new music group with their own television show. Over it’s two year run, nothing could come between that show and me. Their posters plastered my bedroom walls. Daydream Believer? Like millions of fans, I day-dreamed constantly about Davy Jones.



On a beautiful July night I biked along the Ottawa River to this summer’s concert. Memories of riding my bike along that same path, as a teen, prompted all kinds of comparisons. It is the same path, along the same river, but I’m different from top to bottom. My curly blonde hair is now straight and gray.  My runners, like all my shoes, have orthotics. Even the name of the path has changed. For over forty years it was The Ottawa River Parkway. However, like a number of Ottawa landmarks, it was renamed during the Harper regime and is now The Sir John A. MacDonald Parkway.

At the concert venue I stopped to chat with a couple of female police officers. Now there’s a wonderful improvement from my high school days. The idea of female police officers was unheard of back then.

The concert started with ‘Last Train to Clarksville’ and I was instantly transported back to my Grade 9 bedroom with my LP playing on my red and white plastic record player. From my vantage point at the concert I could see the stage and screen but my attention was drawn to the sea of music lovers walking by me to other concerts in the park that night. That parade was far more interesting than anything on the stage.

In the 60’s your hair colour was whatever grew out of your head. Many of the people who passed by me that night were sporting red, blue, purple, green or striped hair.

Clothes are another story. In those days we were mortified if a bra strap was showing. Now bra straps are part of the outfit. Or not. That night I watched vulnerable young girls, looking uncomfortable as they yanked up their strapless tops. Their shorts left little to the imagination.

In spite of Women’s Lib, feminist studies, and talk of gender equality over the last 50 years, many young women feel they have to display so much skin. Back in the sixties, Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech. In part it reads, ”I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.” If only today’s young women were confident enough to be judged by their character, their talents and abilities, as opposed to the amount of skin they expose.

So here we are, in another school year. Teens enter high school, nervous about their new surroundings, their teachers, the demands of the high school curriculum, their friends. Back in my day The Monkees provided me with a wonderful escape from those realities. Watching their show, listening to their songs, gazing at their posters ...that was easier than worrying about friends, pimples and my unmanageable curly hair.

The opportunity to follow teen idols is so much easier today. What would I have done to keep myself away from the constant temptation of the internet and social media overload concerning today’s stars?

Today’s teens face substantially more pressure than I did in 1966. Thank goodness I did not have to keep up my image on Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat. Kids may have talked about me behind my back but I never found out about it. Photos were something you took with a film and then waited a couple of weeks to come back in the mail. There was no danger of someone taking my photo and posting it for the world to see.

Images of war were in my history books, not in real time on my cell phone. For me, war was something that had happened in Europe, a long time ago. There was no knowledge of mass shootings, suicide bombings or random acts of violence.

So my heart goes out to today’s students, especially those starting at new schools. I hope they can find a balance between doing schoolwork, spending time with family and friends, following their idols and developing their talents. I hope they can learn to discern what’s important and real. I hope they’ll be lucky like me and get fifty years after high school, with family and friends to keep them company.

What did you do on your summer holidays?

Remember going back to school and having to write about your summer holidays? Over the past few months I have considered writing about many events in my very ordinary, but busy life. Here are a few ideas knocking around in my small brain:

How did we get this old? In July we celebrated our 40th anniversary - lucky us! We were married on the opening day of the Montreal Olympics. This summer we celebrated the occasion a few times. Our favourite was a weekend at a cottage with our kids and grandchildren. They prepared a spectacular dinner for us. We're so glad we could spend some time altogether and look forward to  being together again, on Thanksgiving weekend.



September 21st was World Alzheimer's Day. My sister-in-law, Jan, died in June,  of complications from Alzheimers. She was only 69. Her loss; the initial, gradual loss and now this final farewell, is very sad. We are now journeying with her mother, as she follows a similar path. In August she was hospitalized, had surgery and then moved. As we work to provide her with the best care possible, we often feel stressed with the many challenges we face. Underneath all the details is a  sense of sadness, as we experience the gradual loss of the person we knew.

I could write about funerals and expressions of sympathy. It's always interesting how people respond or don't respond, when you experience a loss. We have appreciated every card, every greeting, every morsel of food that has been offered to us since Jan's death. In the weeks after her funeral we received letters from four different cousins, all recounting stories of Jan's childhood or adolescence. To receive handwritten letters in this day and age is a wonderful novelty. To hear anecdotes about a departed loved one is a real gift. I've come to realize that it really doesn't matter if you dash off that sympathy card in the first week after a friend experiences a loss. Those first weeks after a death are so busy, you don't really have time to appreciate all the cards. Those sent a month or two later actually get more attention.

Then there was our trip to Nova Scotia. The Cabot Trail was as spectacular as ever, Too bad we didn't plan that trip out farther in advance. Did we really think all those Bed and Breakfast places were just sitting idle, waiting for us? Turns out we were part of a huge wave of tourists in the area. The bonus of this visit was having Brendan as our tour guide.

Food - Although I hate facing the end of summer, I have to admit that this is the best time of year for eating. We are lucky enough to live close to an outdoor market. It's a pleasure to be able to buy fresh produce from the people that actually grow it. I know that we are paying a bit more than in the grocery stores but I'd rather support these people who are out there, in all kinds of weather, all day long. I will spend enough time in boring grocery stores the rest of the year. You simply cannot beat the taste of the corn that we get there!



The U.S. election - Happily, we were at a cottage with no TV during the Republican Convention so we didn't hear any of those speeches. The following week we were back home and watched a lot of the Democratic Convention. Call me corny, but hearing so many of those speeches restored my faith in the U.S. There were some truly inspiring  messages. Two of my favourites were from Rev. William Barber, President of the North Carolina NAACP, and  Khzir Khan, the father of a U.S. Muslim soldier. who was killed in combat.The calibre of these speakers is simply outstanding.

And yet last night, I heard a political commentator say that in tonight's debate, if Trump is even able to string together a few coherent sentences, he will have had a great night!? It's an unbelievable situation. It's going to be an interesting evening for sure.

Of course no comment on my summer can escape some notice about our adorable grandchildren. We feel so fortunate to have them in our lives. On our most recent visit we went for a "night walk" with them. Actually it was a bike (trike) ride. There is simply nothing to match the joy and wonder of experiencing a child's happiness. I loved walking behind Avery and watching him happily biking along and then stopping to jump three or four times in every puddle we came across. There are no commercials for that, no way to plan it out, but those everyday experiences with a young child are priceless.

So, I may go back and explore some of these ideas in more detail later. Or not. For now, I will post something I wrote about September, Grade Nine angst, and the Monkees.