maryellenkot.ca
kotmaryellen@gmail.com

Thursday 22 May 2014

Grandchildren

A few words about my absence. Nothing earth shattering has happened. I simply find myself busy all the time, in spite of being retired. It is a good kind of busy and I am grateful to have our family to keep me on the go. Spending time with our grandson, Avery, is a real treat. I was in Toronto for the better part of a week and I have to admit that Toronto is winning me over. We left Brampton twenty-five years ago because we did not want to live in that huge GTA area. Funny how life changes. We now go there so often that our car pretty well drives itself. I have stopped thinking of Toronto as simply one unruly, gigantic blob but rather as a collection of many interesting neighbourhoods. Now, when I walk along Danforth Avenue or take Avery to one of the many parks, it feels like a community, not a metropolis.

Avery is changing by the day. It is so entertaining to watch him learn new skills like walking, talking, climbing up into a chair, spooning food into his mouth, pointing out people as their names are called, and pointing to people and items in a story book. 

At the same time that we admire his accomplishments, we are journeying with a couple of family members who are living with Alzheimers Disease. Many of the afore mentioned skills that Avery is now mastering are the very ones that are slipping away from our other loved ones. It is sad to witness their decline.


Days with Avery start early but that is a small price to pay for the privilege of reading with a little one in bed.


Here in Ottawa for the Victoria Day weekend, we took Avery to see the tulips at Dow's Lake. Because of the late spring, the tulips were at their peak for the long weekend, which is rare. I don't think he was particularly impressed with the flowers, but it made for some memorable photos.

A couple of weeks ago I met a friend that I had not seen for a long time. When he asked what was keeping us busy these days I told him about Avery and his expected sibling. "Ah," he replied, "Grandchildren..the dessert of life." Amen!

school dress codes


After such a long absence, wouldn't it be good if I returned in a positive mood? Sorry to tell you but it is my grouchy meter that has got me writing again. This morning on CBC radio (where else?) there was a discussion about proper attire for students. After all it is the season for showing some skin. With about six weeks to go in the school year, some schools are attempting to clamp down. On Ottawa Morning there was an interview with some grade seven and eight students. I was not surprised to hear the students objecting to the school rules. After all, that's what you expect students to do. What got me was the mother who was also interviewed. She objects to schools complaining about girls' short shorts. It was enough to set me writing again. I sent this letter to Ottawa Morning.

Well here we go again. Yet another debate about proper clothing. As a mother, a grandmother and a retired teacher I often find it sad to see how today's teens dress. This mother thinks her daughter's dress is "okay by me" but her standards may not match the school's expectations. It is not unreasonable for a person's shorts to have to meet the person's fingertips. For a few years I worked in a school where the administration was very reluctant to say anything to students who obviously broke  the school's dress code. Male principals and VPs do not want to be seen as harrassing young female students. The mother in your interview said that the male teachers who objected to girls' clothes were sexualizing those girls. I'm sorry but parents who allow their daughters to dress in skimpy clothing are the ones who are sexualizing those young women. 



The high school I worked in went from grade 7 to 12. You know what was sad? In the fall of grade 7, the young girls, fresh from a K to grade 6 school, came to school dressed in regular, appropriate clothing. However, many of the girls, by Christmas time, had radically changed their clothing to reflect the clothing that they saw around them. Suddenly they were sporting low cut tops, so low that on one occasion I had to argue with a student to take her cell phone out of her bra. She assured me that all the girls carried their phones in their bras. She was not embarrassed that I could see her bra. As summer rolled around I kept a supply of my husband's old t shirts in my classroom and had students wear them over their tops if I thought their clothes were too revealing. 


School is school, not a beach or a Saturday night party. How are other students supposed to concentrate on their work? School is a place where we should be able to teach students about proper attire for school and work. The trouble is that many adults themselves seem to have missed that particular memo. When I'm on an OC transpo bus or in a store or at a bank I don't want to be looking at anyone's breasts or butt cheeks. I find it sad and depressing that young women today feel that they need to expose private areas of their bodies in order to fit in. If only they could be recognized for their sense of humour, their intellect, their caring nature, their sense of responsibility, their athleticism and not by their suggestive clothing.


I'm happy to report that my former school now has an administration with a more clearly defined dress code which is posted in all classrooms. This new admin team is not afraid to enforce this code and I respect them for that.